Silent Prayers

"Please God, let this tube go through". My heart said as I advanced the tube to intubate a patient today. My stomach was in knots!! It was a great first experience though. I enjoyed the thrill of knowing that I was in charge... that I was making life/death decisions. I wanted to write a post about it because I never want to forget this feeling. This feeling that is serving as a reminder.

Why have I put myself through the horrors of medical school?
Why I have put myself through countless hours of studying for tests?
Why did I neglect relationship after relationship?
Neglect my health?
Drag myself through the mud... on purpose???

Oh... THIS is why. Because I get to save lives. I get to impact humanity. This is my contribution to the world. Or at least the start of it. It won't be a perfect road. And one day I will know the feeling of failing to intubate a patient. I will know the feeling of failure. But thank God for silent prayers. My heart immediately felt comfort and I sealed my quick prayer with an "amen". I looked up at the monitor. My patient's chest was rising. And her oxygenation was 97%. Breath sounds in both lungs. Chest x-ray confirmed the correct location of the intubation tube. Thank you God.

Welcome to my journey. Until next time...

Dr. Rivas